When moving out to the Washington DC area I had one motivation to step out on my own and move away from all that I've ever known. Like every guy that motivation was a girl.
My whole life I've been surrounded by negativity and that anything I try to accomplish would fail. This had been pounded in me since as far as I remember. As I got older and curious about the world outside of everything I’ve known I explored the it. I went to places on my own I drove up to Belleview Iowa, not for any reason just to take a day trip. Then I went further out to places like Chicago. Then there came the opportunity to go to Atlanta, Georgia. That was my wakening experience.
After a few years the world that I known started to break down forced out of a job that really like but always felt that every time I went to work, that was going to be my last day. Then one day it was.
During my time of exploration of the world I meet a girl on a vacation to Washington DC. She was from Trinidad and she was beautiful. Not just outside but her spirit the way she would talk and it seemed that she would truly lesson to you as you talked. I never meet any girl who looked at me the way she did.
But now I am at a loss for words on the way things are now I wish I could meet that girl again and tell her all the things I wanted to say but couldn’t at the time. To tell I feel in love with her the first time we meet. I wouldn’t be saying that not just because I meant it but to move on with my life. To find that joy once again when I first meet her even if it is with someone else.
I've been calling once a week in hope to reestablish our friendship but I never get a return on my calls. But to me it isn't to reestablish but to move on to say all things I've been to afraid to say. From thing that she does that bother me that I find annoying like never retuning call to what is deep in my heart that I think about her all the time. I think about all the special times we spent together some of the times might not mean much to the average person. Just hearing her saying hello to me in passing means a lot to me.
I was trying to write her a letter since I can’t get her on the phone or talk to her in person. But there is so much there in my mind and my heart the words just don’t flow right and it become a mess of jumble thoughts with emotions that go every which way.
Right now I am feeling that way as I write this. So, I will stop for write now so I don’t get off track.
This weekend didn't get to talk to her just a hello in passing. I always feel like I did something wrong but I don't know what it could be because I never see her or get to talk to her spend time with her to even admit that I have done some thing wrong. It just weighs heavy on my mind and my heart. She was my first and only friend when I came out here. Now I feel like I am cursed to be alone.
I look at it this way I got to much going on in my life and I am starting to like myself now. Friendship to me is to much work and I am not getting paid to be any ones friend.
My whole life I've been surrounded by negativity and that anything I try to accomplish would fail. This had been pounded in me since as far as I remember. As I got older and curious about the world outside of everything I’ve known I explored the it. I went to places on my own I drove up to Belleview Iowa, not for any reason just to take a day trip. Then I went further out to places like Chicago. Then there came the opportunity to go to Atlanta, Georgia. That was my wakening experience.
After a few years the world that I known started to break down forced out of a job that really like but always felt that every time I went to work, that was going to be my last day. Then one day it was.
During my time of exploration of the world I meet a girl on a vacation to Washington DC. She was from Trinidad and she was beautiful. Not just outside but her spirit the way she would talk and it seemed that she would truly lesson to you as you talked. I never meet any girl who looked at me the way she did.
But now I am at a loss for words on the way things are now I wish I could meet that girl again and tell her all the things I wanted to say but couldn’t at the time. To tell I feel in love with her the first time we meet. I wouldn’t be saying that not just because I meant it but to move on with my life. To find that joy once again when I first meet her even if it is with someone else.
I've been calling once a week in hope to reestablish our friendship but I never get a return on my calls. But to me it isn't to reestablish but to move on to say all things I've been to afraid to say. From thing that she does that bother me that I find annoying like never retuning call to what is deep in my heart that I think about her all the time. I think about all the special times we spent together some of the times might not mean much to the average person. Just hearing her saying hello to me in passing means a lot to me.
I was trying to write her a letter since I can’t get her on the phone or talk to her in person. But there is so much there in my mind and my heart the words just don’t flow right and it become a mess of jumble thoughts with emotions that go every which way.
Right now I am feeling that way as I write this. So, I will stop for write now so I don’t get off track.
This weekend didn't get to talk to her just a hello in passing. I always feel like I did something wrong but I don't know what it could be because I never see her or get to talk to her spend time with her to even admit that I have done some thing wrong. It just weighs heavy on my mind and my heart. She was my first and only friend when I came out here. Now I feel like I am cursed to be alone.
I look at it this way I got to much going on in my life and I am starting to like myself now. Friendship to me is to much work and I am not getting paid to be any ones friend.
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