Movies

Ever since I was a kid I can remember in school the teacher bringing in the 8mm projector. I would get excited about what we might see a cartoon, a documentary it didn't really matter it was a film a moment to set out of the classroom and into our minds.

Then there was the drive-in movies a night watching the movie from the back of the station-wagon my dad would park it with the back to the screen where us kids can lay in the back and the parents can sit in the folding chars.

Years later the drive-in turned into a multiplex theater. Where during the summer when off of school I would go there and for $2 for the movie I intended to see as I would wait for the movie I would hop from theater to theater and see parts of other movies.

Today I am not able to do that today don't have the time or patents for it. I don't know if it is because I am older or just have more appreciation for the movies in general. So much has changed now these multiplex have become more of amusement park with the video games to was time and to numb you brain to the big budget reboot (because Hollywood can't think of any thing new).
The food has changed too. There is more of it and things I would not associate with movies unless I was at home. I stick to the basic movie food popcorn, candy and a soda. But even with these basics I had to change my movie routine. I no longer get the butter flavoring witch I think is really some kind petroleum lubricant.  Even with that I might have to stop with the popcorn all together who know what they put on it to pop it. Even now after getting back from a movie I still feel gas after my day of other meals came out of me in liquid form.

Lets not get started on the prices...

But all in all I like the movies.          

Do You Like Crackers?

There is a time in every boys life that when he has to go to the dentist there was a time my jaw was hurting so bad and at the age of 30 I had to go to the dentist. So I called the dentist I talked to the doctor and told him what my pain was like and from the phone diagnosis he determined that I might need my wisdom teeth out.

Since I had no money I was able to get a small loan from my bank. So at the dentist they had to put me under. I don't remember much of what happen other that to count backwards from 100. I don't know how far I counted until I was out.

The next thing I knew I was told to sit up and not to lay down. I was told this by this beautiful African American woman. Than the next think I can recall is my sister taking me to get my medication.

On the way home in the car my sister would laugh every few minutes. I ask why you laughing and she asked me if I remember any I said to the nurse in the recovery room. I said no the only thing I did remember is how beautiful she was.

My sister told me about a crazy conversation I had with her about cracker and what kind she liked and listed different types of crackers. I asker if she liked saltines, ritz, or triskets. So what did see say I asked what she said, she liked many different crackers my sister told me.

My sister said what was funny about conversation station was what I said. I asked if she liked this cracker pointing at myself in semi drowsy state.

Lets Take Back The Rainbow

The story behind this blog was in a conversation with a few classmates in college and one guy said "heterosexuals need to take back the rainbow" I always thought this funny and have been working on something for this line because I just don't want it to go to waist.

So I will be working on it.   

The Respect of Disrespect

You can learn a lot about being respectful from those who are disrespectful. In that you learn how not to be or how to improve of what not to be. Respect comes from humility living with very little but dreaming about much more.

So I am learning how to show respect to the disrespectful from all kinds of people like the guy living in the room next to me. How to describe him? A young guy visually he keeps himself well groomed nicely dressed every time I see him he wears a drives cap. I only had three interactions with him one a argument (that I will go into later) a conversation about what we each do for a living. Than in a passing hello from time to time. That is as much as I know about him in interactions.

From what little I know he said he is germaphobe I really don't know what to think of that. Because he is living with many other people in a build where he has to share a bath room. I just can't rap my mind around it.

In the mornings he spend about a hour and half in the bath room I assume he he is grooming himself that hole time. But when it come time that he happens to be done and I had just gotten up to use the bathroom I see it is wet from top to bottom. I quote Forest Gump "that all I have to say about that."

All my interactions with him have been yelling matches when I ask him to do something so simple he give me attitude and throws complaint of all the things of disrespect he does back at me and then one thing lead to another and we are yelling at one another.

I should be better than that even when I try to find solutions for us to get along. So I must respect his disrespect.    

Johnny Carson

I think back to my influences of comedy in my life was Johnny Carson and as a kid I was sent to bed just half way into the news. But after minute I would sneak out of my room down the hall avoiding and squeaks in the floor (after doing this so many time you learn where these where) I would crawl up to back of my dad's recliner and lay there between the chair and stair banister. Being a kid some of the jokes just went over my head but what drawn me to it was being able to have every ones attention.

The one thing you don't see with these kinds of talk show that is never done that Johnny did you never see is a guest host. There was time where Johnny would take a four day weekend and invite some one to come on to host the show Joey Bishop (177 times, mostly in the 1960s), Joan Rivers (93, during the 1970s and 1980s), John Davidson (87), Bob Newhart (87), David Brenner (70), McLean Stevenson (58), Jerry Lewis (52, mostly in the 1960s), David Letterman (51) and one time Diana Ross.  You don't see that any more it is all centered around the one host nothing more.

Banana and Lemons

My first time doing stand up comedy was in a restraint in Silver Spring MD. It was open mic night so what the means your doing your act to other wannabe comedians and all they are thinking about is their set. Not a laugh. It is like a banana trying to convince lemons "I am one of you I'm yellow too!"

Last in line, First in line

It was in kindergarten I learned about standing in line. As a kid in school we stood in line to go to lunch, to go to recess, and at the end of the day to get on the bus. For any kid that age the most important place in line was the first place in line. Every one wanted to be first in line and would fight for it.
Even when you got to be first in line you really weren't first the person that was first was always the teacher. So right there at the front of the line you have a obstructed view and being 3 foot nothing that obstructions was the teachers butt.
So I figured the best place in line was at the end of the line. You didn't have to fight for it because know one wanted it. You had a better view of what was ahead of you, no one behind you pushing you or stepping on the back of your heel. You are able to make your own pace life was great at the back of the line. Than the next thing you know every one wanted to be at the back of the line.

I learned it is not where you are in line that is important it is when you understand your place in line is important to you.     

Drive In Movies

In Davenport Iowa where I grew up there was a drive in move called the Oasis Drive-in. I remember going there only once as a kid I think we saw Disney's "The Apple Dumpling Gang". But as a teen I remember sneaking out of the house night and sneaking into the drive-in there was there was a few ways in with out paying one was to hid in the back of a car. Or sneak from the back of one of the near by hotels one way was more obvious than the other. But mine was near a creek bead where slip under the fence and right there was a open space where I sat next to a speaker. I fondly remember seeing Friday The 13th, Footloose, Caddyshack, 48 Hours.

Religion

There is some thing you have to understand about religion. Religion was invention of man to control man and to exclude man at the same time. Those who are proclaimed as the founder of some of the main religions today where just guys trying to make a better life for them selves and to try to find a true connection with GOD.
It was the followers of these spiritual men who took literal every thing they said and used it for their own ambitions. Instead letting it into their soul and find their own connection to GOD. But they would rather force what they believe on every one and make you feel guilty for not feeling the same they force gilt and judge you for it. Witch they have no right to do because they too are flawed.

This is not to put down any one who fallows any religious faith, I have the deepest respect for those who have respect who walk their own path.

This is my view and if any one comes to you preaching my opinions and saying that God one day took me up never to be seen again. It is not true what might be true is that I am shriveled old man sitting in corner waiting for his chocolate pudding in a nursing home. I could also be on some ones mantel in a urn or I could be the dust in the wind.

So just live your life.
                      Be good.
                               Be positive.

And love your self so others can love you.
          

Food Stamps

There was a time I think it might have been during high school. We where on food stamps, and it was not like it is today on the card they give you. It came in a pack printed like money but only on one side. Then it was called the new money. 

What I remember about food stamps is when I was trapped across town at the mall I could get back home with one food stamp. 

You go to the store buy 25 cent pack of gum and the change left over got you him on the bus.

Those where humbling times it is to bad kids today can't experience what those us experance do in the 80's. 

Meditation Museum

It was summer of 2009 I had just started working for a video production company that makes video profiles of business. It was in Silver Spring, Maryland after a month of working on two restraints to sign them.
After my meeting I walk down the street looking for another business to sign up I saw the Meditation Museum. Thought to my self let me try this place it is different than a restraint.   

I walked in and felt something just run down my back. I walked up the stairs the first person I meet was sister Geta. I told her what I was doing she then took me into sister Jenna. I gave my pitch for this video program and thirty minutes later she signed up and she said she had event that weekend to video. After our talk she said if I stick around she would help me with my confidence. So I've been there ever since. The experience of being where I am at in my spiritual gave me a new outlook on life and a better understand of unconditional love.

Reces Pennut Butter Cups

For the past few years it is part of my routine to stop at the convent store and get Reese's Peanut Butter Cups four pack and a Dr. Pepper. Some times I would mix it up getting a Coke.
There are times when the store does not have the four pack so I would get the two pack. I don't like the two pack they taste different I don't know why.
Is it a different batches or recipe it just taste different to me.   

Ethiopian Women

The one thing that interesting to me the most in life is diversity how any people form different walks of life different cultures can come together and work together. The best example of this is the Macy's in Tyson Corner, Virginia during the holiday season.
I worked there stocking the floor and every night unloading the trucks. There where guys from almost every culture in the work at the loading dock. When a group of guys get together the one thing they talk about is women. So the discussion what country had the most beautiful women.

Every one had pointe out different types of women European, Asian, African, South Pacific and it went on every one making a point of why these different women where the most beautiful. Every time some one brings up a nationality of women and makes their point every one would agree.

There was one tall Ethiopian guy came out of the back of the truck and he argued the point the Ethiopian women where the most beautiful, but even when we agreed with his he continued to argue that they were the most beautiful over all. He just would not shut up about it.

So I told him your right Ethiopian women are the most beautiful, but the men are the ugliest in the world.    

Coffee as a kid

In the early 80's my parents had me in a privet school and it was a struggle on my parents and my self. I feel to this day I should have never been there, but when I think back on my life would my life had been any better who knows.

Most my education in this school with limited to being bullied by other students as well as some of the teachers. The combination between having dyslexia and being bullied caused me to have depression. My parents sent me to psychologist two different ones that I remember. One had me in hospital for almost a month and the other suggested that I drink coffee.

So once a day a teacher took me to the kitchen at the school and had me drink a cup of coffee with honey. I don't know what that did if any thing.
It was strange to be the one kid with coffee breath. It is one thing to be the brown noising kid that knows all the answers and is the teacher's pet. But for the other kids to think I am on a coffee break with the teacher and that is why I am not at recess. 

George Bush hates penguins

Kanye West got the BET Honor for entertainment we all know that Kanye acts out. What we have to understand is that some time he speak or act out because of emotion. But from seeing him at the honors was surprising from the person we see from time to time on TMZ and other tabloids. He is passionate about his art and his work which we all should do in our jobs.

There is one Kanye moment that stands out to me the most that he spoke more out of emotion before really thinking about it. It was the Katrina fund raiser when he and Mike Mires where reading from a TelePrompTer imploring people to help with funds for those who lost every thing in the hurricane. I don't remember what Mike said today who even knows after what Kanye said after him he said "George Bush hates black people." what maid that funny was the look on Mikes face when he said that.

Years later as I thought about it that moment became the base for a joke that I don't want to waste so I am putting it in this blog post and here it is.

Kanye West got it wrong when he said George Bush hates black people, he really hates penguins a animal that call it's self a bird and can't fly is really arrogant.

      

Trip To INDIA

In October of 2014 I took a trip to India to be exact Mt Abu India. This was for spiritual retreat for my self. Not to go into any detail about the trip other than to say that I miss it. That is all I want to say and I felt it was worth noting in my blog. But if you feel you need details of this trip you can go to MixBook and view the book I maid of the trip.

96 Olympic Games (20 Years Latter)

In 1996 I got the chance to leap out of my comfort zone of Iowa and travel to another part of the country. But when growing up in Iowa and not traveling any where out side of the Quad Cities would be considered another world of foreign land.
I say this because this was my first time I went to Atlanta for the 96 Olympic Games. But this is not about looking back to my experience of going to that event. A reminiscing moment happen a few days ago.
Every year I work the BET Honors this is the one week of the year that makes me feel that the seven years I worked to to get my bachelors degree was worth it. It was at the 2015 BET Honors that I got to meet Dr. Johnetta Betsch Cole, Ph.D. she received the BET Honor for education. Twenty years latter I got the chance to tell her that after the 96 Olympic Games I wrought her a letter thanking her for letting those people who worked the games to stay on Spelmen College campus.
She was a joy to talk to in that few moments I look forward to corresponding with her more in the future. 

STAR TREK

I would think back to my childhood to reflect over some of the bonding moments with my dad. Of all the little moments that stood out the most is STAR TREK. It was my dad that introduced me to the show watching it when I was a kid when it came on as re-runs. When I told him that he could see it on NetFlix his face just lit up. So I am making him a profile and give him access my account.

72 BOTTLES OF VIRGIN OLIVE OIL

I don’t understand terrorist these days, you don’t hear them blow them selves up.

Before they would make a video say they are going to do the drastic thing and they’re going to paradise where the will get 72 virgins. They don’t specified what kind of virgin. You think women, could be men or 72 bottles of virgin olive oil and rubber glove.

Now before you get offend of this joke. This has nothing to be with Islamic religion because I've tested it and refined telling it to Islamic friends and the give a great laugh to the bit. It is the people who are not Islamic who get offend now isn't that strange.   

GOMER PILE

I grew up watching classic TV shows like I Love Lucy, Leave It To Beaver, and Andy Griffith I still watch them today but there is one show I have not seen. Since the military repealed don't ask don't tell. I have yet to see a rerun of Gomer Pile. Is this some kind of conspiracy theory? That they don’t want us to know that there has been a gay man in the Marines all this time.

As you read that I hope you understood it. I did it for a bit in my stand up, and there was nothing and I found that disappointing. But it made me understand the expanse between generations and how the younger generation don't understand there was sitcoms before the 80's and they didn't have to rely on jokes on sex.

Most times I have to explain the joke and it looses something when you have to explain a joke. Sad world we live in.        

MOM and GOOGLE

I am originally from the mid-west a thing to know about the mid-west is that there is nothing to do. There was a time I took my sister and her two daughters on a road trip to Chicago and on our way back the girls are arguing and one of them says, “I can touch the back of my throat.” And she said this a few times it was strange so my sister turns to her and asked, “What do you mean you can touch the back of you throat?” so my nice said “watch” so she sticks her finger in her mouth and suddenly she just blew chunks. (make throw up noise) and it was just awful. There was so much of it and the smell; I just can’t believe so much can come out of a little girl her size.

One day out the blue my mom call me. She called me to ask me how do I get Google off my computer?

Mom, you don't get it off it is a web site. Well I don't like it. Why?

They know every thing. Ya, mom it is their job to know every thing.

I just don't want them to know any thing about me. What? I don't want them to know any thing about me. So you don't want them to know you’re a 75-year-old woman sitting in a recliner watching home and garden on cable.

Laughing at the Stitches

The blood was running down the back of my head really not realizing it until some one said something. Running off to show mom crying for her to make it all better.

There was a wooden pallet out in the street I don't remember where it came from but some of us neighborhood kids where trying to tear the boards apart. What would make this so much easier is a claw hammer.
One massive swing I was about to get the first board, but that swing the claw end of the hammer gashed the back of my head.

I was taken to the emergency to get stitches. As I was getting the stitches the doctor said this is go ing to tickle. Saying that to a kid like me worked because it did.    

Dumb Luck

Went to the casino with my friends John and Crag.  I played a few dollars on the slots didn't want to loose to much. But Crag played black jack and lost a $1000. I don't get it there is nothing behind the lost it is just lost. I told him you could have given the $1000 to me and let me kick you in the nuts. That would have given you your moneys worth.
John on the other was playing the slots and won $1000. Crag said, " That is just dumb luck." Because John had never been to a casino. Now how is winning money dumb. Grag sounds like the dumb one.

That phrase does not make any sense. If your dumb and you win some money are you any smarter or are you still just dumb? What if a smart person almost gets hit by a car crossing the street is that dumb luck?